Self-Care Is A Necessity, Not A Luxury

The 4 Pillars of Self-Care: Physical, Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual

One way to think of the self-care pillars are as vessels we fill with liquid energy. As our self-care vessels become full, they will naturally overflow to help others. If any of our vessels are empty, we have nothing to give but our own life force energy until that drains out of us. We run on fumes, become angry, resentful, stressed, and emotionally and physically drained. We snap at others then become sick ourselves.

Also, one of more of our vessels can be cracked and leaking, so as we attempt to fill them in ways that may have worked in the past or try new things that are “supposed” to work but don’t, we can become frustrated and give up altogether.

The cracks and leaks are limiting beliefs, historically unmet needs, and unhealthy coping mechanisms that sabotage even our best efforts to care for ourselves. Perhaps you don’t feel you are worthy of care or your feelings and needs don’t matter. I feel you. I’ve been there time and again. So often when we have long-standing unmet needs we develop unhealthy coping mechanisms that subconsciously attempt to fill these needs.

During this process of discovery, I invite you(implore you) to approach yourself with the utmost respect, compassion, and understanding as we untangle the old ways of being that served their purpose in the past, but are now hindering you from moving forward in the direction you truly desire. Learning to create healthy boundaries (I know it can be scary!) so you don’t overextend yourself is paramount to self-care and wellbeing and will be address in all of the pillars.

When you can get clear on the limiting beliefs, out-dated narratives, and unmet needs holding you back from truly hearing and feeling what is needed in any given situation, you can start to step out of the morass of years of old conditioning, behave differently and begin to chart a new path in alignment with your own authentic, internal compass.

Physical Pillar

In the physical realm, we will be looking at the ways you care for yourself through food, movement, exercise, sleep time, as well as nervous system regulation through the lens of MindBody Medicine. We will compassionately delve into the self-defeating ways you may have been hampering your progress through old coping mechanisms that no longer serve you and develop new ways of being and acting that support your true goals.

Presencing and grounding exercises into your body with breath, awareness, and guided imagery in this pillar will support you in listening to your body’s own wisdom, developing intuition, and begin acting on it.

Possible Areas of Focus

  • Beginning an exercise routine

  • Establishing a healthy diet

  • Breathwork and mindfulness techniques for body awareness

  • Supportive herbal remedies and adaptogens

  • Creative movement and dance

  • MindBody Medicine technique for nervous system regulation

  • Many other possibilities unique to your goals

Mental Pillar

In the mental realm, we will delve deep into mindset, oppressive limiting beliefs, and ongoing unhelpful narratives that may have been blocking you for decades for achieving what you truly want that keep you circling the drain of your own life. We will be investigating your identity-who you believe yourself to be-and seeing if it may be an old coat you have been wearing that is ready to be up cycled or tossed out lovingly altogether.

We will investigate which of the core wounds (painful stories we tell ourselves such as: I am unlovable, unworthy, will be abandoned, not capable, etc…)are most active in your life that drive the narratives in your head and learn how to subconsciously reprogram them into something far more useful and true.

Possible Areas of Focus

  • Reprogram oppressive limiting beliefs

  • Core Wounds(habitual negative meaning we ascribe to ourselves about events or situations in our lives)

  • Fixed Mindset to Growth Mindset

  • How to interrupt the harsh inner critic/bully/tyrant and develop healthier more empowering narratives coupled with compassion.

  • Your BTEA Equation: How your beliefs and thoughts affect your emotions and actions.

Emotional Pillar

In the emotional realm, we will take the magnifying glass into the connection between beliefs and the feelings that arise from them, discover what your true feelings and unique personality needs are, create healthy strategies to meet them, and lovingly weed out old coping strategies that have long outlived their usefulness.

So often we live in our heads and forget to realize that the habitual negative stories we tell ourselves create habitual feeling tones with a cascade of neurotransmitters that permeates our bodies and leads us act in old habitual ways, or make knee-jerk reactions or comments based on something that may be wholly untrue. We will take a deep look at how the core wounds (such as I am unlovable, unworthy, not enough, etc…) lead to an habitual emotional output, which leads to a habitual behavioral output.

Establishing self-compassion as a baseline and regularly creating a safe space to feel your feelings and witness your own emotions is paramount in Emotional Self-Care.

Possible Areas of Focus

  • Discover your unique personality needs and how to meet them in healthy ways

  • How to share your feelings and needs in a safe and respectful way

  • Your BTEA Equation: How your beliefs and thoughts affect your emotions and actions

  • Emotional awareness, regulation, and how to deal with triggers in realtime

  • Somatic Processing: How to feel your emotions without getting overwhelmed by them

  • Creative outlets for self-regulation: journaling, art making, dance, and any others unique to you

  • MindBody Medicine techniques such as Shaking or Chaotic Breathing to clear and regulate difficult emotions

  • Whole body vocal toning with Sonic Anatomy to digest and metabolize difficult emotions and experiences

  • Weed out old, unhealthy emotional coping mechanisms and developing new, healthy ones

Spiritual Pillar

In the spiritual realm we will be focusing on the ways you connect and feel nourished at the soul level by the larger benevolent forces of the Universe. You need not be religious or a church goer to have or establish a spiritual connection.

It can be the connecting with the viriditas-the greening, nurturing enlivening, electric energy that pulses through all of Nature and You and I. The divine spiritual life force that animates the physical and is intimately intertwined with our very flesh.

It could be establishing a practice of mindfulness and meditation or a practice of extending loving kindness to yourself and others.

Perhaps you feel most connected the Virtues of the Greeks or Stoic philosophers, such as Marcus Aurelius. It can be the Love and Presence you feel coursing through your heart when gardening or when you look into your grandchild’s eyes. It is whatever is the most meaningful, supportive, and true for you.

Possible Areas of Focus

  • Developing a mediation or mindfulness practice

  • Delving into your own unique creative expression

  • Exploring ways to strengthen and enliven your connection to the Divine as defined by you

  • A gratitude practise

  • Living in full alignment and integrity with your unique set of values and virtues

  • Discover what brings meaning and fulfillment into your life and weave that into your days

  • What is the Truth in your heart and how to live by it? What choices do you make to support it?